CW: Self-Harm and Suicide
Hello there reader, it’s nice seeing you again. I hope this article doesn’t bother you much. Before I begin, I’d like to say that I don’t know what words to use as I’m writing this so I apologize if any of the things I say seem nonsense.
Also, there are mentions of depression, self-harm, and suicide. If you’re uncomfortable with any of those topics, please leave this article and seek help from professionals.
But anyway, if you’re reading this announcement, that means I quit writing design posts. I know it sounds very corny when I write that, but it’s true.
For years, I’ve been going through a lot of things. Including my depression, which happened around 2019. Sure, I’ve taken medication for weeks and it worked. Until one day, I decided to stop taking them. My parents told me that I am okay and I can handle it on my own. I did, but not long enough as it turns out.
Now it’s 2022 and it has been a very tough year. I’ve been feeling under the blue lately. I haven’t talked to anyone online or offline. I’ve been feeling sad and depressed while I was on vacation. I sound angrier to my parents. Even I cut myself with a house key (actually that was a year ago, but I feel that I need to bring this up).
I think writing things about design is making me unhappy (at least not in my 2018 phase). My process of writing (researching, writing, proofreading) takes longer and makes me sad and exhausted. I keep delaying my posting schedule because I am mostly procrastinating. I became sleep-deprived from all of this writing. In other words, I am an unhappy teenage journalist in a mental cubicle, waiting to hang himself in his bedroom of his parents’ house.
And after all these years of writing, I’ve decided to quit writing design articles. I’m sorry for that. Maybe in a few years, I’ll be back to writing again, just not about design and all that stuff. Perhaps, I might begin writing fan-fictions on AO3 (Archive of Our Own). I might also start to convince my parents to help me find a therapist near me, perhaps affordable and good. But while I’m looking for one, you can reach me out on my socials if you’d like to chat with me:
Before I delete my Medium account, I’m looking for a platform to archive my articles. So that even if this account is gone, you can still access my articles. If you have good suggestions, please feel free to send me a tweet. You can leave nice comments for me, but I’m afraid they’ll probably be gone once I deleted my account here on Medium.
That’s all I’m about to say. Thank you for reading and supporting me all these years. Goodbye.
Originally published on July 7th, 2022. Edited on May 13th, 2024.